I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
