so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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