she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
