May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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