About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
