Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
