...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you never un-have a 4some
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
