4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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