tell your sister to shave her snatch
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
