Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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