Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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