Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
