just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
