Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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