I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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