Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
