shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
