That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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