Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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