My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
