I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
