Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
