yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
