your parents love me but you hate me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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