where am i from again
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
