Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
