If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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