I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
