i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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