Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
