Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
