it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
