I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
