It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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