Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
