With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
PANTIES FOUND
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