have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
