he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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