3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
