i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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