Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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