Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
