he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
