every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
