I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
