This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
