u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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