Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Let's get the cat blown out
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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