she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
