Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
