Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
