Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
