weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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